Persistence versus Apathy
It was sometime in the early 2010s. I was an Assistant State’s Attorney assigned to a specifically difficult job of prosecuting sex crimes against children in the felony review stage. In Cook County, once someone is arrested, that person must be charged within 48 hours or released. A particularly heinous case came in, and the “perp” was talking. He was accused of committing horrible acts on one of his daughters. He clearly had not learned his lesson in that he spent time in prison for doing the same thing to his other daughters. However, he did, apparently, learn a different lesson in that this time he did not confess. But he did talk. I knew with every fiber of my being that he did it. I also knew that there was not enough evidence and without a true confession, I would have to release him. At hour 48, I spoke with my supervisor and the question of charging him with a felony came down to “moral versus ethical.” We chose ethical. I was gutted knowing he was free and justice was not served. I cried in my car and feared for the safety of his daughter and other young girls. I was knocked down and there was a part of me that just did not want to do the job anymore. However, the next day I went back to work more determined to help whoever I could in any way that I could. That is persistence. Persistence is hard.
Today, the news cycle makes me want to scream. The constant bombardment of not just political posturing but true harm being caused to humans across the globe is overwhelming. This type of overwhelm leads to apathy and believe me I have felt apathy. How am I supposed to help from my home in Chicago when I feel completely drained? It is much easier to Netflix and chill or read fun books for my self-preservation. However, as a student of history, I am acutely aware that true harm begins when society gives in to apathy.
I am ready to get back up, and it is my goal to help others feel the same way. I get the desire to do something big to truly have an impact and then the frustration of not knowing how. I have no pull with big tech or pharma. I am not an immigration attorney. However, I realize that there are small simple steps that I can take to be a part of the fight- and you can do them too. It can be something simple like calling a friend who might be suffering because they are in a group being targeted or because they are going through a difficult life event. It could be donating time or money to a soup kitchen, giving to a toy drive, giving money to a go fund me for medical or legal bills. You do not have to be a civil rights attorney to help. Whatever your talents or skills that you are currently using to zone out (like knitting or baking) can be used to help others. Doing one simple thing every day is persistence. While persistence can be hard, in the end, it feels pretty good.
One of my favorite songs is called “Rise Up” by Andra Day. The opening lines are so powerful: “You’re broken down and tired of living life on a merry go round. And you can’t find the fighter but I see it in you so we gonna walk it out.” If you do not know the song, I recommend looking it up. If you do and it is now stuck in your head and it gets you to move out of your seat and do something- then I think my work for the day is done.